Wednesday 29 April 2009
Thursday 26 March 2009
Wednesday 25 February 2009
Awful awful awful advertising bastards
Ok so first I was confronted with the intro guitars to 'Bright Eyes' - First Day of My Life' being used to hock Halifax building society which is one giant Neil Armstrong sized leap away from using everyones favourite useless fuck 'Howard' to pub karaoke his way through a Grease hit with the words changed to reflect the benefits of a fixed price mortgage.
The very next day I heard Nick Drake being used to advertise the benefits of Vicks when it comes to not coughing into your lover's mouth when kissing?! I know sex sells but I would have thought you would draw the line somewhere before cough medicine...
And now this abomination gets piped into my living room earlier this evening:
Firstly there is the strap line of 'The one that comes with a bag' which pops up in the print at the bottom of the screen just before 'No men were harmed in the making of this advert', are they referring to the bag in the box or to the portly agressive cow who thrusts the product at her uselss man? Who incidentally looks like he may well have been drinking the stuff in the bag as he is made to act like he spends the majority of his time licking windows and playing with stickle bricks.
This kind of trash demeans everyone, male and female young and old... The most upsetting thing about this advert is that in the times of rising unemployment there are some smug, talentless but employed pricks who have actually been paid to produce this steaming 30 second video turd doubtless spending hours whacking off into their iphones while streaming it repeatedly on youtube.
In the immortal words of Bill Hicks: "Kill yourselves, seriously, you are the ruiner of all things good"
The very next day I heard Nick Drake being used to advertise the benefits of Vicks when it comes to not coughing into your lover's mouth when kissing?! I know sex sells but I would have thought you would draw the line somewhere before cough medicine...
And now this abomination gets piped into my living room earlier this evening:
Firstly there is the strap line of 'The one that comes with a bag' which pops up in the print at the bottom of the screen just before 'No men were harmed in the making of this advert', are they referring to the bag in the box or to the portly agressive cow who thrusts the product at her uselss man? Who incidentally looks like he may well have been drinking the stuff in the bag as he is made to act like he spends the majority of his time licking windows and playing with stickle bricks.
This kind of trash demeans everyone, male and female young and old... The most upsetting thing about this advert is that in the times of rising unemployment there are some smug, talentless but employed pricks who have actually been paid to produce this steaming 30 second video turd doubtless spending hours whacking off into their iphones while streaming it repeatedly on youtube.
In the immortal words of Bill Hicks: "Kill yourselves, seriously, you are the ruiner of all things good"
Friday 20 February 2009
Monday 16 February 2009
Saturday 14 February 2009
Valentines Day or....
... Loneliness amplified day for you single people... OR... Prove it day for all you couples.
Who knew St. Valentine had stocks in Clinton Cards and Thornton's?
My advice consists of The Strokes, wine, coffee and not staying still for very long. Less a Valentines tradition as a day to day coping mechanism, but worth trying ;)
Who knew St. Valentine had stocks in Clinton Cards and Thornton's?
My advice consists of The Strokes, wine, coffee and not staying still for very long. Less a Valentines tradition as a day to day coping mechanism, but worth trying ;)
Thursday 12 February 2009
Ah cruel realisation
I got a call from my great aunt yesterday, she was "concerned" as I hadn't paid her cheque in to my bank... those who know me will understand why...
I agreed to meet her on the weekend so she could give me the cash instead, lunch she suggests... YES why not, haven't seen her in a while and its always a bad move to say no to a free feed these days.
So, great... lunch and a wad of cash for a Saturday, Saturday the 14th, Saturday the 14th of February... OH NO, you see for the slower amongst you (Like me) what I have inadvertantly done is arranged to meet an old lady on Valentines day in order to have a sit down meal during which she will palm off a large sum of cash to me.... To the casual observer this will look rather dodgy, and like I am some kind of male escort for the elderly.
How do I get myself into these situations?
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